ogress mommy

For a few days now I have arrived at work late. I hate being late and its no fault of mine or my monkey’s its the person I get a lift with.

“We don’t have time to finish the cereal baby”. Hysterical crying pursues about the cereal he didn’t really want until baby monkey wanted it. I drag him from the house threatening to leave him at home if he doesn’t hurry up.

My lift has arrived and for once just once I am excited I may just screech into work on time. Getting to the gate there are tears cause he never opened the gate. Tears because he wants his bag on his back.

By this time my thoughts of screeching into work at any time has almost flown out of the window down the drain into the very pits of hell.

Finally dragging a monkey clinging to my leg we get to the car but he refuses to get in. Bending down I yell in his face get in. Then I pick him up and plonk him in the car.

Now had I just taken the time to explain he couldn’t finish his cereal and the reason why we couldve got out the door sooner. If I had picked him up and carried him to the gate hysteria wouldn’t be rampant because he thinks my threat of leaving him behind is genuine.

Just having stopped a moment to put his bag on his shoulders instead of screaming at him to go get in the car would’ve probably deleted at least two minutes from the rush.

In the car he finally puts his bag on and calms down, getting out the car I have calmed down realised what an idiot I am choosing being early over giving my son the 5 minutes he needed to be ready for the day.

I apologise and am forgiven because my monkey just never stays angry. Thank you monkey for being the bigger person.

I realised that since he started school we are always rushing. Rushing to finish bath time so that he can have play time before bed time. Then rushing play so we can read and settle him in time.

Then rushing him in the morning to get dressed for school because I let him sleep till he wakes up. Then rushing him to the car and then into school. Life must seem like a big rush to him always hurry up.

What about taking 5 minutes just to love him like my moment in time the other morning.

Sorry my monkey I will really try not make life so rushed and try take it a moment at a time.

Sigh if only I could remember that

teacher hope you are proud

Dear Teacher

I would like to start off by thanking you for utterly ruining a little child’s birthday I hope you are proud of yourself.

My god child was turning 7 she was so excited counting down her sleeps till her 7th birthday with excitement. However when it started to get closer she got quiet and nervous.

“Mom I have to have cup cakes for school otherwise they won’t sing happy birthday”. Her mom began to stress you see for she is a single mom who uses most of the money she earns to pay rent and send her kids to school. After that there is little or no money left. Luxuries of cake and presents is the last thing on the list.

This mom loves her kids and has to find ways to make her kids feel special other than just buying them the latest toys and stuffing them with sweets. She works hard to do this as she is away from home 12hrs a day earning a salary for her kids. She is stressed exhausted and battles to concentrate let alone have energy for her young ones.

So back to how you ruined my god child’s day. My god child woke up excited for she had a batch of cup cakes to take to school for her friends. Today they would sing to her give her a crown and she would be princess for the day. Last year she stayed at home to avoid being embarrassed because she didn’t have cup cakes.

She woke up to no present but the assurance she would have cup cakes and so she was so excited. Can you imagine putting so much value on cup cakes and not even giving much thought to a present just to be recognised as a princess for the day.

Her cup cakes arrived and she danced around so excited the pretty butterfly cup cakes were pretty and today was the day she would get the attention she craved. Today she would be princess and everyone would love her.
She arrived at school with her beautiful cup cakes so proud battling to carry the boxes in er tiny arms but she managed to get them to class without dropping them. Today was a very special day today she was going to princess.

Horror of horrors dear teacher hadn’t bothered to make her a crown. The devastation and horror my god child felt I can only imagine her pain at realising her teacher thought so low of her that she didn’t bother making her a crown.

Yes teacher you did recover and quickly made her a pink crown with a bit of glitter thrown in and it was a consolation prize. She had to be happy with that what else could she do. So heart broken she brought her pink crown home and cried for she had not got the gold prized crown but still she made the most of it it was after all a crown.

While I understand that perhaps you want to protect a child from being embarrassed because they don’t have cake t doesn’t work like that.

Instead they get the feeling that if they can’t give something they can’t be loved. This reinforces the way a lot of parents now behave that instead of giving kids the needed attention they buy them stuff to prove their love.

Is it not rather better to give the children who can’t afford to bring things more attention and find away to make them feel even more special than ever not knowing what their home circumstances may be.

Do you know that this particular young child has never had a birthday party because her mom just can’t afford it.

So once again thank you teacher for reinforcing the fact that if you have nothing to give you are not worth being loved.

bunny oh bunny

Cough cough cough and throw up all over the bed monkey and horror of horrors on his constant companion his confidence booster and sleeping partner.

Bunny is bunny worn torn and falling apart but she has been his best friend since he was nine months old. He would grab an ear an schlep her along where ever he went within the confines of the house.

Sleep could never be reached without her ear to play with. Once it took us ten minutes to find her and twenty minutes to calm his hysteria before we could get some sleep.

He goes out and comes home and tells her about his day. Bunny has never ever been aloud to leave the house let alone the yard.

She has had two excursions and both have been to the doc when monkey has been really ill. Our doc is wonderful as she first checks out bunny and then my monkey. Making him confident she isn’t about to hurt him.

Now that he needs her most she is covered in puke and so while being sick he has had to fall asleep without his beloved bunny. Finally the little eyes can’t keep open anymore and off to sleep he goes.

My heart broke for him, he has another bunny but he isn’t as wonderful or as loved as bunny. He is blue short and fat. Bunny is brown, long and skinny with long floppy ears which he twirls to fall asleep.

I have searched hi and low to find another just like bunny but she seems to be one of a kind. Sigh I have washed her but she needs time to dry.
Oh where or where could we find another in case of emergencies like when bunny needs a bath or seems to be hiding somewhere impossible.

dearest buggy bear

Dear Love of My Life
 
For years and years I have taken you for granted my dear buggy bear, walking over how you feel and bullying you into doing things my way or else.  Suddenly I have realised  that where I have thought I was strong I have actually been a weakling.  All I have been is a bully, telling you that if you didn’t do this or that it was over or however else I knew to manipulate you.
 
The other day when I asked our Monkey whose the boss and with amazement he answered Daddy.  I was taken aback like it was a slap in the face, hey what’s this nonsense I am the boss everyone knows that how come he didn’t know that.  Suddenly I had to take stock and sit back and pay attention.   
 
Sitting back to asses our family after that slap in the face the realisation hit.  You are the strong one, holding the family together, you are the one quietly driving us to a goal.  Gently loving us and pushing us in the right direction steering us when we go wrong.  Never before has someone’s love and devotion awed me like this.
 
While there is a certain pride in me for brining you out of the pits that you thought had consumed you there is a load of shame, it wasn’t done because I totally loved you, it was because I could gain something from it.  When looking at how you have loved and cared and gently stood by watching me blunder along suddenly your true worth is coming through there is awe and finally its sinking in as to what true love is like.
 
This hard shell out to get what is due has suddenly started cracking and breaking and realisation is setting in that without you in my life there would be nothing even if monkey was totally mine. 
 
Last night for the first time in a very long long  time I  was able to totally relax and just let us be a couple, not striving to be in charge or control things but happy to just love and be loved.  Dinner on our own was so great even though it was at church.  Sitting back and letting you take the conversation was amazing for me and while we had nothing to add to our elders travel stories and disappointments in cutting his overseas holiday short you managed to carry some conversation.  It was a total awe inspiring evening for me and predictably many many more like that are to come.
 
This is just a small way of telling you that you are the most amazing person I have had the honour to get to know.  You have endured more over this last two years than many people and yet you still stand strong. 
Bettering yourself and using the tough time as a leverage to better yourself and your family. 

You are an amazing husband but an even better father and your son adores you. He believes he can fix the world and he certainly isn’t far from wrong for you sure fix our world real good.

Buggy bear my darling hubby it is with pride I walk by your side as your wife, because you are the most amazing man and now you just need to realise your worth.

a moment in time

Rush rush rush that’s all we ever seem to do lately. I get irritated in the morning because my sister in law arrives late.

This morning however I wished she had been 3hrs or more late. I was ready and waiting for her with monkey but he wanted uppie.

I picked him up and he threw his arms around my neck. We stood there just hugging not talking and I wasn’t rushing around. All to quick my sis in law arrived and it was time to rush again.

Suddenly monkey has become very affectionate and the more time I take to give him my soul attention the more I get.

Sigh if only I could calm down more often

sigh I feel good

Tonight as I settle down to sleep I am a happy and fulfilled mom.

Waking up at 6 am this morning, I wondered what on earth I was going to do to keep my son busy until bed time. We were not scheduled to go to the shops and hub not feeling well we weren’t going to church either.

It was going to be a looooong day today with my monkey especially since hub wasn’t feeling to well.

We bathed for ages just playing and laughing then dressed at our leisure and went to get dirty outside. We jumped on the trampoline, played ball, rumbled and tumbled with loads of hugs and kisses in between. We ate he rode bike and I pretended to get on the back. He built garages for his cars as I looked on in amazement.

We watched a movie, slept ate bathed tumbled and played again and all to soon he wad asking to go to dudu. He also played alone while I managed to finish reading my book.

What a gem of a day, I was truly blessed to have time with my son and time for me.

Upon switching of the light for goodnight my son cuddled into my back so tight pushing his little body into mine hardly leaving room for me on the bed. This just made the day even more special.

Sigh and tomorrow is back to work and school how shall I survive without my monkey. He on the other hand has been asking since Friday night if its Sunday already and is tomorriw school.

best day ever

Monkey slept at aunty cooka loo’s house and I missed him like crazy.

Upon fetching him once again he was in tears crying about anything and everything. The emotional part of sleeping out is to much for him to handle and my heart is breaking.

Finally we get home after the shops and he has settled down a load. Obviously happy to be home where he is safe and secure.

We decide to wash the filthy car and clean it out. Now this is right up his ally of fun as it involves water. While we are cleaning out the papers he quickly makes himself a mud bath.

Yip a big puddle in the garden filled with mud and he promptly sits down in it. What bliss for a little monkey and I am squirming and dad isn’t to impressed either but its monkeys delight.

I decided then and there to take sometime out and watch my monkey. I found I was enjoying watching him so much I found myself doing it for the rest of the day.

My son tackled everything with relish and delight. It was so good to see him try new things and enjoy some more accomplished tasks. He has also grown and can now reach the light switches.

So all in all he was much more interesting to watch than any movie, game or tv program. Thank you monkey for making me calm down and just enjoy moment by moment of the day.

Even though we had a two hour nap the day still seemed long and most fulfilling.

may i hide pls

Just having shown interest in church my three year old monkey has no clue that he has to sit still and be quiet.

Its not that its reverence or anything nope its the fact that he is disturbing the entire class.

We are going to classes to see if this is the church for us and so I think normally my child sits with a car and blocks and stays quiet for about a half hour. So I pack blocks a car a colouring in book crayons and paper.

Well the cars turn out to be rickety wrecks squealing and rattling so we put those away. Can he build quietly no he scrambles through the blocks.

Settling him on colouring he colours for all of two seconds and cries out I am tiered to colour.

The elders wife takes him and plays with him but he keeps gravitating back to me and disturbing the class.

By the end of the class I wished I could sit under a chair and decided I definitely wouldn’t be repeating that stint in a hurry.

Sigh now to find out what to do with him when I goto class for the next 3 weeks.

help i am drowning

Oh dear monkey eagerly goes to school no problem.

“You have to do your homework monkey”. “Please do your homework”. “You can have a sweet if you do your homework”. “I will get my slipper”. Now I don’t want to already make my kid hate school. But seriously isn’t reading and writing a little to much for my boy.

He is 3 and already has homework.

In ZA most kids learn to read and write only at the age of 7. My dude can’t even hold his pencil properly yet how is he going to master his writing. Ok ok so he is just learning to join the dots. Come on but writing out twenty seven to thirty in words is a little hectic for my dude.

Sigh other kids having attended the school are doing so well when they hit the grades already. Am I a neurotic mom who doesn’t want to rush my child or am I being to protective. HElP what age do kids start reading and writing in other countries.

And do they get the dreaded homework task. I am drowning her how do I get my son to do it without making him hate school.

sadly proud

My monkey has gone from quiet shy boy to this amazingly wonderful open boy who greets everyone he meets with enthusiasm.

No one is classed beneath him and no one is above him. Everyone one big or small gets greeted the same hello how are you. He may not be kind and considerate always as he very much wants his own needs pleased but he is polite and well mannored.

He shows no interest in keeping close to mom and dad but runs off to where he needs to be. In this day an age it terrifies me that he doesn’t stay close but I also am in awe of who he has become.

My biggest scare though is that he no longer needs mom to pander to his every need and he is becoming independant and his own person. Do children not need their mom until at least they are 18 or um older. I know my sister in laws teens still need their moms.

Sigh we are never happy are we. If I had a clingy niggly child I would be sighing I need a break.