bless you

Don’t ignore monkey when he has taken the time and made the effort to bless you, he will remind you that he has blessed you until you thank him and then he will say “pleasure” If he thanks you for something he keeps saying “I said thank you” until you respond with its a pleasure and then he responds with ok. 
 
This is a simple but effective way of ensuring that his little voice is heard and that it is important.  I received a mail about making sure you hear your child and I am ashamed in that often I am rushing him or myself and don’t take time to really listen to what he is saying by asking a question or nodding my head.
 
I realised that I am no better a communicator than my son, yes I yell perform and scream a lot but that’s not communicating.  On Sunday he just wanted my attention and so he was playing up real bad, jumping on the furniture, which he knows irks me so badly and worst was he had sprayed it with water first and then started jumping on the couch.
 
Finally I yelled so loud and bad that he burst out crying but it didn’t stop the behaviour he continued.  Suddenly I realised that to him it was fun to get moms attention and he didn’t realise why jumping on the furniture was not a good idea.  I first played with him chasing him all over the house including up and down the stairs a good couple of times (bad bad idea for a woman suffering with hip problems).  I then took him and sat him down and explained to him why I didn’t want him jumping on the couches.  He understood and from that point on jumping on the couch was not an option.  In a few days he may forget but then being the mom I will have to re explain to his little mind that would have already forgotten.
 
Often we expect them to just obey but we forget to explain exactly why it is we don’t want them to do that thing.  They don’t have the logic to understand yet and it takes time to teach them the right way.  I am all for a tap on the neary deary should it be required however I am loathe to inflict this unless I am certain I have explained over and over the reason why he isn’t allowed to do what he insists on doing. 
 
The other day I listened to my neighbour bellowing at a guy across the street to take his rubbish and dispose of it the proper way and not dump it in the street.  Now while I agreed with him on the point he made I didn’t agree with the manner in which he dealt with the situation.  The less in control he was the more he bellowed and the louder he became and I realised how little authority he actually had.  Looking at my behaviour on Sunday I realised the exact same thing, the more out of control I felt the louder I bellowed.  It didn’t help it just aggravated the situation and I gained no more control than if I had left the room and pretended nothing was happening.
 
Sigh now if I could just remember that before yelling our house would be a much better place.  My monkey is not beyond reasoning and when you explain things to him he understands very quickly and is eager to please its me that lacks the skill of imparting the knowledge and just expecting him to comply.
 
Yes I know I am still learning the art of communication, but its difficult to re-teach an old gal new tricks when the only way I know is to out yell the loudest person in the group.

monkey see monkey play

A colleague once said a child is like a thief. Their eyes steal everything as they gather information to use at a later stage.

I believe this to be true, they may not understand everything you say but they definitely can mimic our actions.

We had a breakdown and the towing service had to collect us and tow us home. Monkey mimicked every part of the journey from trying to get the car started to when the tow truck driver left us at our home.

Oh what excitement he had when the tow truck arrived, actually a flatbed truck. His eyes gleamed shone sparkled and he was so quiet observing everything. Bending down to see under the car watching it being towed onto the truck.

Then we went towards the truck to get in he went quiet walked slower and held back but got in. As we were driving finally he said “I am not scared anymore”. Oh man here I thought he would be so excited yet he had been afraid it was something new undiscovered.

He loves cars, trucks and tractors is his ultimate love. But he is so petrified of a tractor he can run a mile when one starts up.

I was so in awe of his game yesterday after we got home. Towing car after car not getting bored of the same game in different ways. Either towing his own small cars or his bike broke down and dad must come tow him.

It was really a treat to watch and while he had no clue why the car broke down after trying to explain it he had grasped every other aspect of the journey why because its what he had seen.

Sigh mommy monkey u gotta learn to be careful around this little sponge.

should i feel so good?

Its a Saturday afternoon all is quiet in the house and hub and I are having a rare afternoon bonding session.

Monkey has gone to his cookaloo and has decided he is going to sleep over. His cookaloos mother is his obsession he talks about her non stop. The creche here her name constantly. She is every childs addiction the one every child clings to even above their own mother.

If a choice needs to be made of whether they want to be with their mom or aunty cookaloo she wins hands down.

Cuddling and getting cozy just after an early evening dinner my phone rings. Its aunty cookaloo. Monkey is crying and wants to come home. They were about to bath and he said “no no my mommy will bath me.”.

So quickly finishing our cuddling we race off to go fetch him to bring him home. He gets into the car with relief leaving cookaloo to cry as she is loosing her playmate

I know he still adores his aunty but its with a little bit of pride I can say she has not claimed my child he is still his mom’s boy. That alone is an amazing feat as many mothers have lost their kids adoration and loyalty to aunty cookaloo.

Mm I know I am mom and non can replace me but she creates in all moms and insecurity that they not doing it right but seems I am. Is my pride valid oh hell yes sorry aunty cookaloo.

i cant drive

Today my perfect plan of getting my boy and myself sorted in the morning fell apart.

You see I rely on my sister in law to pick us up and drop him at school and get me to work a half hour before she needs to be at work.

Well that isn’t working out and I am putting a lot of strain on her. In South Africa the public transport system is poor and unreliable and so in order to get to work and back one needs their own transport.

Well I have a vehicle I just can’t drive it well not legally anyway as I don’t have a licence. I have been a burden to my hub and family for to long now and need to get my licence.

I have booked for my learners but that will only happen next year then I need to get my drivers. Shew I feel like such a bad mom not being able to see to my son and get him to school.

I know I know I am working on getting it sorted but still its going to be a while before I can fix this one.

Sigh why couldn’t I just have done it in my younger years like everyone else.

from to wow

I am constantly amazed at my sons development. Yes I know he learns new skills daily and its important so that he can grow up.

Its the rate at which he does it that amazes me though. A month ago he was still battling to do the night time wee. If I didn’t time it right he would wet the bed. Then he went to not needing to wee at night.

Now over night he wakes himself up to go to the toilet. This has been an overnight development.

So yes I am amazed and so loving it.