Fatherhood

How wonderful that I have a hubby that gets this roll totaly

why

Oh me goodness why?

I have a vivid imagination and can summons a story within a minute. The game where u choose a subject and the person has to talk for a minute without a stop or hesitation. I am the queen and my cousins would leave me babble on longer than a minute to try and catch me out.

But even ny vast imagination has been all tapped out with monkeys why today.
Sigh I can’t wait for school tomorrow and yet I am dreading him not being with me.

a little indulgence

So I kept him home from school on Friday and took him to the zoo. On Thursday morning when he woke I told him Friday was going to be a big surprise day.

Friday morning finally arrived I asked him if he could go anywhere where would he like to go. He looked at me hesitating to ask. Could he or should he dare ask to go to the zoo. I encouraged him and so he shyly said the zoo. Yay today your wish is real to the zoo we will go.

At the zoo I indulged his every wish we worked it at his pace and went where he desired. I had such fun indulging him and to be honest he never asked for much beside my time and attention.

Back from the zoo I kept on indulging him with my time and attention. Climbing into bed he wanted a movie and five minutes in he was fast asleep.

Saturday dad took over and played with him all day and the word no wasn’t used. Ok so he ate a few sweets to many drank to much fizzy but hey its a rare occasion and he was being so good. Giving us loads of hugs and kisses now that was paying off big time.

Sunday rolled round with a rush to get to church as we had to be early and would leave later than normal. After church I ministered and dad baby sat the kids.

We both played with him in his room and had fun. I then needed to go to the shops I struggle to buckle monkey in and so when we got to the shops I told monkey to stay with dad.

I got in and there was a little trolley no big ones and monkey so loves to push the baby trolley. I asked hub to send him to me and pretended that monkey was doing me a great favour by coming to push the trolley. His little face was glowing with pleasure and at the end he reminded me that without him I wouldn’t have managed.

Upon arriving home he asked me to make play dough, I had just bought cream of tartar to make it. I was being lazy and the kitchen was already a mess. I promised to make it on Tuesday, but his little face fell and he looked so sad.

Oh what the heck I made the dough while making supper and my champs face lit up as he helped me. We played a little and suddenly he was so tiered and tum was sore. We came to bed and I asked my hub if monkey could sleep in wow bed. The joy on his face that he could, that just lit my heart.

Sigh so the dishes didn’t get done and the bath didn’t get washed but I have a happy monkey and a content mom knowing I spent the time with my son.
Love you monkey and buggi bear you both rock my world

growth

This post might be a little jumbled and have lots of elements to it.

Monkey has developed in terms of speech. Suddenly his understanding of things and retelling of stories is wonderful to listen to. He can add feelings and descriptions of small details.

He can do so much more for himself to and is sadly becoming more self concious. That part worries me a little but luckily he is able to laugh at himself. His laughter of late rings out far more than before.

I have been at home not working and have had the honour of being a stay at home mom. I have kept monkey at home a few days a week. What a joy its been. We have had a chance to really bond.

The days I send him to school I miss him like crazy. I love his chatter and yes even the why is he driving past wow house.

Sadly I have had to introduce him to the big bad world of badies and people dying. We have lost pets but never a family member till this week. It was my cousin who he didn’t really know but still its rattled him a little.

We also had our garden tools stolen and he wants to know why people take other peoples stuff. Shew and that why goes on and on as he tries to wrap his head round that one.

I feel sad that some of his innocence is gone but proud that I haven’t lied to him. Life happens and he needs to learn how to cope with things. My hub doesn’t quiet agree though.

Sigh hope his innocence doesn’t get shattered altogether to soon.

mommy ogres?

We had been discussing the effects of our actions on our kids and whether they remember and from how tiny.

Well tonight sitting in the bath for some reason my son and I were chatting about when he gave up his dummy.

“Well you were only allowed the dummy to sleep with and you bit the teat off and I kept giving you the broken dummy till you threw it away.”

“Uh uh Finias (our gardener) popped it.” Well jaw dropped into the bath, monkey had always claimed Finias had popped it. I thought that story had long been forgotten. He as only round 18months old.

Then horror of horrors “an you never bought a new one when we went to the shops” Oh my word he was spot on, every night I would say when we go to the shops I will buy a new one. I never did and after three weeks he stopped asking. “Mom, shops new dummy”. Was an every night ritual for three weeks.

His first remembered promise mom had made and not kept. How many other promises does his little head have stored that mom never did.

I am pretty much a stickler for keeping my word except I wanted the dummy gone, fearing he would bite the teat off in the night and choke on it. It wasn’t a sob story each night he seemed to be coping fine without it. I thought it was passing comments he was making.

Then suddenly I had an emotion smack into me as I clearly remember the day my blanky and bottle were removed from me. I was about 3 and got into bed. “Granny where is my blanky and bottle.” “The birdies came and took them away.” “But Granny they are in the cupboard” I sobbed.

Granny assured me they weren’t and that the birdies had taken them. I wasn’t allowed to look in the cupboard. I was heart broken sobbing and crying. Asking for just my blanky then, but gran wouldn’t budge. I could still see my blue blanky and I was horrified. I am 47 for goodness sake how on earth did I remember that day with such clarity.

I don’t remember if I cried for them on other occasions but that first night was definitely still a very real and vivid memory. Will it be for my child to.

It again confirmed to me we need to keep our promises and to be more careful with the way we deal with our children.

There will still be a million other traumatic things he remembers which I will have forgotten or forget about but he won’t.

Sigh no matter what we will be a mommy ogres of note for some or other reason best I get used to it.

oh me oh my at 4 he can

Ok so a few days ago I posted all the things he couldn’t do and oh me oh my suddenly he can.

Not only did he feed himself last night but he fed his 3 year old friend. Surprise surprise a lot of food actually made it to his buds mouth. Yes there was a shower of food all over the floor table chair his buddy but some food got to the right place.

He got up this morning and made his bed. Well that was a gob smacker of note he won’t normally even pick up a blanket. Picture above is not picture perfect but hey it was his first un taught attempt.

Then he got out the bath this morning without me getting out dried and dressed himself. Who on earth is this child can mine be returned please.

He has discovered he likes to get a piggy back ride like a baby tied to his moms back. He progresses in one area and regress’ in another.

I love my boys little boy stage but all of a sudden he has found his mojo to do things for himself and I am not about to stop him.

He has always done things when he is ready and not a minute before. He raged about going to potty then one morning went and that was that he was potty trained.

So now we are on the next big steps. Sigh what will I do I can’t have another baby and my boy is growing up.

4 and still he doesn’t……

Horror of horrors my son is now all of four years old and I still feed him. He is quiet capable of feeding himself however when at home he wants mom or dad to feed him.

When my mom in law is around she always says I never had to feed one of my kids. Having to and wanting to I suppose are two different things. I don’t have to feed my son but we choose to.

One he then at least gets some food into his tummy. Two he is only going to want us to feed him for so long and then that will fade away and three being an only child we have a little more time to indulge him.

He doesn’t dress or undress himself and shows no interest in choosing what to wear. Clothes are of little significance if any to him. In the morning he lies like a king on the bed as I dress him.

He can dress himself as he has done so on occasion proved he can do it and so is so over that so there he chooses to let me do it.

One I need to layer him in this cold winter weather and he would probably dress in the wrong order wearing his undies over his pants. Ok not quiet that bad I suppose.

Two and three are the same as the reason for feeding him.

He doesn’t brush his teeth yay for that one. While he ensures his teeth are brushed daily, yes a child who wants to brush his teeth he has little patience to do this himself and puts the brush and out and its done.

I brush his teeth ensuring they are scrubbed if not polished and ensure his tongue is done.

He does not colour very neatly. Yes he colours in the lines, oh ok within the lines of the picture but um what a mess.

He doesn’t draw many recognisable objects and is probably gonna be an abstract artist. Despite there being artistic skill from my side and dads side of the family this gene hasn’t yet struck home.

He doesn’t know the words to many songs neither from nursery to grown up music. The few he does know how ever he holds a tune. That in itself is amazing. Hello I loooove to sing but oh me oh my no tune to it at all. I am tone deaf to myself but hit an off key and I will hear it. His uncle and grandfather where the musicians and singers so whoop whoop for that.

He chooses to make up his own songs and tunes.

We are at the moment on a good score though suddenly he wants to taste every type of food coming out of the pots. To my surprise the two strongest veggies cabbage and spinach he likes. Broccoli he is getting to like but let’s do it a step at a time.

He doesn’t sleep in his own room. The bed next to my bed is fine with me now. I get to keep an eye on him and in this cold manage to keep him covered.

He is growing up with good manners cautious attitude but once he loves you he loves with no bars held. Don’t break that trust though cause you are going to have to work to get it back. Except with his dad and I oh ok you messed up let’s move on mom. Shew thank goodness for that.

So name me shame me mock me, I am not raising a baby or a spoilt brat. I am raising a young boy who can’t have everything his eye sees. However he gets all the attention and love he needs. And if that requirement is to be fed, dressed, bathed, teeth brushed then bring it on.

Sigh mom let’s stop judging and rather encourage one another.

Shiny domes

Dear Mattel

While we commend your wonderful gesture of producing a Bald Barbie at great cost to yourself and then distributing them without charging a cent.

However we would like to bring the following to your attention:

1. Your guilt is appeased you have advised those seeking a doll representing a shiny domed princess that you have indeed honoured their wish and provided such a doll.

Oh where oh where would we be able to purchase such a doll. “Well we distribute them quickly and efficiently to the childrens hospital and how they distribute them is their responsibility.”
Well thank you for that useless bit of information I live in South Africa and they definitely don’t arrive here. Oh but goldilocks Barbies are all over in your face.

You see they are beautiful they fit in with your image making children feel good about themselves wanting to buy them and maybe even aspire to be one. Including my beautiful princesses without any hair.

2. Not only do cancer patients have a shiny dome, but surprise lots of other kids too. And some will never recover their hair unlike cancer patients when their Chemo is complete. Alopecia being but one of the diseases.

3. So say my princess had been lucky enough to obtain her shiny domed Ella and she is overjoyed at having a special doll. Her friend not knowing about Ella walks in with Goldilocks and asks “oh my goodness we can’t play you can’t even do your Barbies hair”. Yes kids are cruel without meaning to be. So mom steps in explains shiny dome and after embarrassed gasps play begins. However the shock and horror on her friends face has ruined her doll.

Now if the doll was out there on the shelves together with Goldilocks she would know about shiny dome and could even choose to support her friend and get her own shiny dome doll. Oh I forgot she isn’t part of your image.

3. Its not only about Barbie its about the fact my boy loves to cook just like his dad. But people are horrified to find pink tea sets in our house. Not sure if colour ones would be better actually but its because the packaging stereo types toys. Pretty girls cooking, how about chefs most are men.

Blocks are all about building forts cars aeroplanes. Um girls would love to build a fairy castle. Cars are packaged for boys. Hello girls love them to they own cars just as soon as they start working.

Oh there are probably a million other reasons I should be writing about but I am sure you get my meaning.

Let’s stop hiding cancer and other disease away that we would rather not deal with. How about we start becoming a people reaching out to others saying hey its ok that you are different let’s hold hands and find our way together.

How about stopping gender marketing and market to kids.

How about taking a stand and saying hey this year we producing Shiny domes only because we are a company that wants to create equality in all people. Leave the goldilocks for another year where she can flick her hair and strut her stuff.

In all honesty if I had the money I would place an order of so many shiny domes with you, you wouldn’t have time to produce goldilocks.

A consumer who is fed up with being dictated to as what she should and should not be purchasing.

pls help

https://m.facebook.com/Mattel?_rdr this is the makers of barbies facebook page. Pls could u all go to the page and request them to make a hairless barbie to allow girls with cancer to fEel pretty. To donate all proceeds to finding a cure. Ask all yr contacts to do the same. Colleagues everyone with internet access. Let’s bombard them till the do