bless you

Don’t ignore monkey when he has taken the time and made the effort to bless you, he will remind you that he has blessed you until you thank him and then he will say “pleasure” If he thanks you for something he keeps saying “I said thank you” until you respond with its a pleasure and then he responds with ok. 
 
This is a simple but effective way of ensuring that his little voice is heard and that it is important.  I received a mail about making sure you hear your child and I am ashamed in that often I am rushing him or myself and don’t take time to really listen to what he is saying by asking a question or nodding my head.
 
I realised that I am no better a communicator than my son, yes I yell perform and scream a lot but that’s not communicating.  On Sunday he just wanted my attention and so he was playing up real bad, jumping on the furniture, which he knows irks me so badly and worst was he had sprayed it with water first and then started jumping on the couch.
 
Finally I yelled so loud and bad that he burst out crying but it didn’t stop the behaviour he continued.  Suddenly I realised that to him it was fun to get moms attention and he didn’t realise why jumping on the furniture was not a good idea.  I first played with him chasing him all over the house including up and down the stairs a good couple of times (bad bad idea for a woman suffering with hip problems).  I then took him and sat him down and explained to him why I didn’t want him jumping on the couches.  He understood and from that point on jumping on the couch was not an option.  In a few days he may forget but then being the mom I will have to re explain to his little mind that would have already forgotten.
 
Often we expect them to just obey but we forget to explain exactly why it is we don’t want them to do that thing.  They don’t have the logic to understand yet and it takes time to teach them the right way.  I am all for a tap on the neary deary should it be required however I am loathe to inflict this unless I am certain I have explained over and over the reason why he isn’t allowed to do what he insists on doing. 
 
The other day I listened to my neighbour bellowing at a guy across the street to take his rubbish and dispose of it the proper way and not dump it in the street.  Now while I agreed with him on the point he made I didn’t agree with the manner in which he dealt with the situation.  The less in control he was the more he bellowed and the louder he became and I realised how little authority he actually had.  Looking at my behaviour on Sunday I realised the exact same thing, the more out of control I felt the louder I bellowed.  It didn’t help it just aggravated the situation and I gained no more control than if I had left the room and pretended nothing was happening.
 
Sigh now if I could just remember that before yelling our house would be a much better place.  My monkey is not beyond reasoning and when you explain things to him he understands very quickly and is eager to please its me that lacks the skill of imparting the knowledge and just expecting him to comply.
 
Yes I know I am still learning the art of communication, but its difficult to re-teach an old gal new tricks when the only way I know is to out yell the loudest person in the group.

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