change of parenting style

A trip to our friends small holding was planned and my monkey could hardly contain his excitement. He was going to feed the horses carrots, that was his absolute delight.

So Friday my sis in law was taking a day of work but had some errands to run and so I decided to keep them at home with me

Monkey’s mischief was on top form and if I didn’t constantly have my eye on him he was up to no good. Just being a typical boy looking for something to entertain himself.

Shew the day was done and it was finally time for bath and bed to my relief. Monkey very hesitantly says “morm” in a drawn out mooorm “can I still go to the farm even though I was naughty.”

Well that form of punishment hadn’t entered my head. I was about to say no you can’t go but in all honesty we had promised him a day with the horses with no conditions attached. I just hugged him and said of course.

Well the day arrived we got into the car and off we went to the small holding with cookaloo as well. Horror of horrors on the way there our breaks failed and we almost knocked over a cop who jumped out into the road to stop us. Hub somehow managed to stop and pull over without injuring the cop or letting the cop realise the breaks had failed.

We drove slowly from thereon but slowly the brakes returned.

At the “farm” the kids had a great time playing and doing their thing without being shouted at. Daniela had found a horse shoe which she called a foot print. My friend forgetting the fact she had two city slickers kept using horse terminology to two dumb struck kids.

A hoof, mane what are you talking about. But painting the hooves was the highlight of their day lol. They loved grooming the horses.

So I am grooming Pepperpot and he begins to nibble my fingers playfully. I know that ponies love to do this and its a part of showing affection so I continue to let him nibble. Yeoach what the heck, he decides to show some real love and bites down hard on my finger. I can’t pull it out from his teeth as its kind of jammed in there finally I manage to pull loose.

While we worry and stress about watching our kids every move on the plot life is relaxed. The kids will do a thing once and either get hurt and not do it again or we will discipline them once they have got up to the mischief and being caught out.

Its so much better letting them make decisions for themselves instead of forcing them to be good cause you watching their every move. The way we hover over them is never going to teach them how to make good decisions. They will always be looking over their shoulder for reassurance that its ok to do it or not do it.

They then won’t make mistakes and learn that there are consequences. So while we hover over them ensuring they are safe we are hindering their growth and maybe even self worth.

Let’s face it they stack two blocks on top of each other and wait for praise instead of getting praise when they have really achieved something.

Since the farm I have taken a step back and looked at my parenting style. I am a hovering praise singing parent.

I watched my monkey yesterday how he flourished just being set free to do as he wanted to without his every move being second guessed. He managed to make some good choices and maybe some not so wise ones.

I presumed he had gone to look for the roosters and chickens but in fact he had gone to look for the most skittish of the horses. Thank goodness he hadn’t found her as she had been moved. She is a beautiful lady and loves monkey and I but she is nervous and could bolt or kick at any time as she is easily frightened.

Today he stayed home with me and I gave him more freedom than normal and um I was surprised at how well behaved he was. I shall be doing this more often.

Sigh but it isn’t easy to let him loose.


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