empty feeling

Tonight I am a loss with myself and feeling empty.

For 15 years hubby and I plodded along trying to have a baby. I had done enough preggy tests to start a recycling factory. Then bam one day two lines appeared shock of shocks it was the most wonderful thing in the world

A baby was growing in me my very own monkey all home grown it was unbelievable to finally be having a baby. Now tonight he is sleeping out at aunty Carla and uncle Buks and I feel lost and empty.

He fills so much of my life even a few hours without him seems an eternity. I felt so sorry for him, he so wanted to go to his aunt but kept looking at me for reassurance that I was ok with it.

He didn’t ask me and everytime he checked if he could go he asked in a small voice so excited to go but so unsure of leaving mom. So I smiled bravely and said yes baby its fine.

Well its not but he so loves his aunt also and so I will never stop him going. Love that dude I seriously do.


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